Equestrian Sniglets - chicago-screwed

chicago-screwed (shĭ-kă'gō-skro͞od) adj.
The position you are in when an essential piece of tack breaks at the worst possible moment.

Example: My horse was galloping down the trail and I was trying to stop him when my bridle broke and fell off. I was totally chicago-screwed.

Unsung Heroes: Peter Rabbit

Peter Rabbit now allows himself to be sprayed with flyspray without acting like he is getting zapped with 10,000 volts of electricity with every spritz.

Equestrian Sniglets - lametastic

lametastic (lām-tăs'tĭk) adj.
Extraordinarily talented and chronically unsound.
Synonym: limpcredible

Example: My friend has a lametastic horse—he jumps 5 feet, has two bowed tendons, and recently injured a suspensory.

Equestrian Sniglets - fugiturd

fugiturd (fyo͞o'jĭ-tərd) n.
That one piece of manure that won't get onto the manure fork and into the wheelbarrow.

Example: I would have been done cleaning stalls ages ago except I wasted way too much time chasing a fugiturd around. And it still managed to get away.

Equestrian Sniglets - wishtance

wishtance (wĭsh'-təns) n.
When approaching a jump, the distance you see that isn't actually there.

Example: I was totally going to win that class until I saw a wishtance to the last oxer.

New Product Alert: Fecal Enlightenment System

Manure Solutions, Inc., the leading innovator of manure related products, today announced the release of their new Fecal Enlightenment System.  "This system is a must have for horsemen who do barn chores after dark.  Our flexible, patent-pending mounting system will mount any flashlight onto the handle of a manure fork.  The Fecal Enlightenment System is a must-have for those nights when you can't see sh*t."

Fecal Enlightenment System

Mounting system includes a roll of duct tape. Manure fork and flashlight sold separately.

Enlightened manure

Another Victim of No Stirrups November

Seattle, WA -- This morning No Stirrups November claimed yet another victim.  Convinced by the Internet that it was a good idea to ride without stirrups on a blustery November morning, Melody Parker added a broken collarbone to her already sore leg muscles.  Next year Parker plans to spend all of November in the southern hemisphere to avoid the Internet's "Let's All Fall Off More In The Fall" campaign.