News That Sounds Like We Made It Up, But We Didn't

An Austrailian researcher has named a rare species of horse fly after pop diva Beyonce.  This horse fly, Scaptia (Plinthina) beyonceae, is notable for its big golden butt.

Area Dressage Horse Doesn't Understand Basketball

Last night Single Entendre, a 9 year old Hanoverian gelding, watched his first basketball game, a match between the Miama Heat and the Oklahoma City Thunder. About five minutes into the game Single Entendre declared, “I just don't get it. These really tall guys run up and down a polished wood floor, bouncing a ball and throwing it around.  What's the point?” Single Entendre, an accomplished third level dressage horse, generally has a great appreciation for athletic feats, but the sport of basketball left him confused. “Every once in a while one of the tall guys would twirl through the air and then hang onto the hoop and the crowd would go absolutely nuts. And these guys get paid millions of dollars to do this?  I just don't get it.”

Area Horse Irritated By Horse Reference On CSI: Miami

Mr. Nickerson, a 19 year old paint gelding, once again became irritated last night while watching an episode of CSI: Miami.  After performing an autopsy, Dr. Woods declared that the victim had been injected with "enough drugs to kill a horse".  At this point Mr. Nickerson began yelling at the television, "Why do people insist on using horses as a yardstick for measuring drug overdoses?  When did we become a unit of measure for killing things?"  Vowing never to watch CSI: Miami again, Mr. Nickerson changed the channel to a rerun of Growing Pains.  Minutes later teenager Mike Seaver displayed appalling manners, prompting his father asked, "Were you raised in a barn?"  At this point Mr. Nickerson turned off the television and picked up a book.