A Choose Your Own Misadventure Book
The Big George Morris Clinic
by H. B. Farmer

What will happen when George Morris comes to town? YOU decide!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Press Release - Point Two Ltd

For Immediate Release

Point Two Ltd
, Marketing Department
Unit 10, Jayes Park Courtyard
Ockley, Dorking, Surrey RH5 5RR

INDEPENDENT STUDY VERIFIES THAT POINT TWO AIR JACKETS  IMPROVE SAFETY IN EVENTING

An independent research team was hired to conduct an extensive investigation into the safety of our Point Two Air Jackets.  We are pleased to announce the findings of this study.  The study found that since the Point Two Air Jackets were introduced there has not been a single incident of drowning in a water complex at a major eventing competition.

Point Two Ltd is pleased with our contribution to the safety of the sport of eventing.  We believe that this study will also make Point Two Air Jackets appealing to a wider variety of riders, including trail riders who have to cross creeks and show jumpers who jump liverpools and open water.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Royal Wedding Anniversary Press Release

On the eve of the anniversary of the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton, the rider from the Household Mounted Cavalry Regiment who fell off his horse during the procession issued a press release.  In it he stated, "I would just like to remind everyone that I did not fall off my horse.  The horse slipped and fell.  I did not 'fall off'."  After falling off his horse, the rider let go of the reins and the loose horse ran right passed the coach that was carrying the newly married couple back to Buckingham Palace.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Area Horse Not Planning On Getting Any Work Done This Weekend

Moorpark, CA -- Deacon, a 9 year old thoroughbred gelding, is not planning on getting any work done this weekend while he watches the live feed of the Rolex Kentucky Three Day Event.  "I always keep a work-related window open on my computer.  Then if someone walks by I just ALT-TAB over to that.  I don't know what I'll do if someone tries to take me for a ride.  Maybe I should just call in lame."

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

TV Listing: Fashion Television

Fashion TV

9 p.m. EST

In this week's episode, the hosts look at fashions that take women straight from the barn to the bar.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Business Opportunity: Hillbilly Farms Syndicate

For the first time ever, you have a chance to be a part of our exciting operation here at Hillbilly Farms.  For a low monthly investment, you can own part of one of the world famous Hillbilly Farms horses.

$25/month buys the part of the horse that doesn't want to be caught in the pasture
$20/month buys the part of the horse that produces large amounts of manure each day
$75/month buys the perfect, rhythmic canter -  SOLD!
$10/month buys the part of the horse that likes to walk around on his hind legs  
$50/month buys the part of the horse that gets injured and runs up huge vet bills
$5/month buys the part of the horse that rolls in manure before a show
$100/month buys the part of the horse that can jump a clean round - SOLD!

Shares are limited so purchase your share soon!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Amateur Owner Hunter Spun After Rider Comes Up Lame In The Jog

Bernville, PA - At the Big Bucks Horse Show this weekend, Valerie Cauthen, 52, and her horse Midnight Express were called back first for the jog in the Amateur Owner Hunter 36 & over.  But halfway through the jog, Cauthen rolled her ankle and had to limp through the rest of the jog, causing the judge to remove them from the placings, citing unsoundness.