Completely made up headlines and articles from around the horse world, brought to you by Hillbilly Farms.
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The Horse Who Wouldn't Die The Biography of a Useless Horse by H. B. Farmer **Now available as an ebook** |
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Horsemanship Challenge
Horsemanship Challenge: Try to groom a shedding horse without ever touching your face.
Friday, November 1, 2019
Bring It On!
The days are getting shorter, the weather is getting blustery, and the horses are getting frisky. This can mean only one thing: It is time to tempt fate and drop my stirrups. Bring on No Stirrups November! (Actually, my horse thinks there is a goblin in the bushes, so maybe I should pick up my stirrups, just for now.)
Monday, April 22, 2019
Pony Quotes
"It's not my fault that you ran your knee into a tree. You really need to look where I am going."
-Rupert
-Rupert
Saturday, January 12, 2019
Area Horse Didn't Lose His Shoe, He Knows Exactly Where It Is
Area Horse Didn't Lose His Shoe, He Knows Exactly Where It Is
Monday, December 3, 2018
Area Horse Knows He Is Going To Be Blamed
Local rider Mary Deane is sporting a black eye after walking into a lamp post while texting yesterday. "She collided with a stationary object but she is letting everyone think that I did it to her," said Mr. Jax, Deane's Arabian gelding. "Seriously, she walked into a lamp post and she wants to blame it on me. Can you believe it?" Mr. Jax has decided not to set the record straight in order to increase his barn cred.
Saturday, November 10, 2018
No No Stirrups November Contest
Flemington, NJ -- Every November, while the riders of Rising Star Farm have a contest to see who can ride without stirrups the most, the horses hold their own contest to see who can convince their riders to ride without stirrups the least.
Last year's winner, Tick Tock, is on track for a personal best this year. "The first time Lindsay tried to drop her stirrups this month I shot across the arena and then slammed on the brakes." As of November 10th, Tick Tock has a total score of 5 seconds. His winning score last year was 12 minutes and 33 seconds.
But 5 seconds might not be enough to win this year because newcomer Snafu is bringing his A-game. "When Sarah brought out the saddle without stirrups on November 1st, I pretended I had never seen a saddle before. She made the wise decision to put the stirrups back on before saddling me. Then a few days later I think she was thinking about dropping her stirrups so I started playing hot lava in the arena, where the arena sand is the lava." With 20 days to go, Snafu is the leader with 0 seconds. And he feels confident he can hold the lead. "I can keep this up for the rest of the month, definitely."
Last year's winner, Tick Tock, is on track for a personal best this year. "The first time Lindsay tried to drop her stirrups this month I shot across the arena and then slammed on the brakes." As of November 10th, Tick Tock has a total score of 5 seconds. His winning score last year was 12 minutes and 33 seconds.
But 5 seconds might not be enough to win this year because newcomer Snafu is bringing his A-game. "When Sarah brought out the saddle without stirrups on November 1st, I pretended I had never seen a saddle before. She made the wise decision to put the stirrups back on before saddling me. Then a few days later I think she was thinking about dropping her stirrups so I started playing hot lava in the arena, where the arena sand is the lava." With 20 days to go, Snafu is the leader with 0 seconds. And he feels confident he can hold the lead. "I can keep this up for the rest of the month, definitely."
Thursday, August 9, 2018
Equestrian Sniglets - chicago-screwed
chicago-screwed (shĭ-kă'gō-skro͞od) adj.
The position you are in when an essential piece of tack breaks at the worst possible moment.
Example: My horse was galloping down the trail and I was trying to stop him when my bridle broke and fell off. I was totally chicago-screwed.
The position you are in when an essential piece of tack breaks at the worst possible moment.
Example: My horse was galloping down the trail and I was trying to stop him when my bridle broke and fell off. I was totally chicago-screwed.
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