Equestrian Sniglets - lametastic

lametastic (lām-tăs'tĭk) adj.
Extraordinarily talented and chronically unsound.
Synonym: limpcredible

Example: My friend has a lametastic horse—he jumps 5 feet, has two bowed tendons, and recently injured a suspensory.

Equestrian Sniglets - fugiturd

fugiturd (fyo͞o'jĭ-tərd) n.
That one piece of manure that won't get onto the manure fork and into the wheelbarrow.

Example: I would have been done cleaning stalls ages ago except I wasted way too much time chasing a fugiturd around. And it still managed to get away.

Equestrian Sniglets - wishtance

wishtance (wĭsh'-təns) n.
When approaching a jump, the distance you see that isn't actually there.

Example: I was totally going to win that class until I saw a wishtance to the last oxer.

New Product Alert: Fecal Enlightenment System

Manure Solutions, Inc., the leading innovator of manure related products, today announced the release of their new Fecal Enlightenment System.  "This system is a must have for horsemen who do barn chores after dark.  Our flexible, patent-pending mounting system will mount any flashlight onto the handle of a manure fork.  The Fecal Enlightenment System is a must-have for those nights when you can't see sh*t."

Fecal Enlightenment System

Mounting system includes a roll of duct tape. Manure fork and flashlight sold separately.

Enlightened manure

Another Victim of No Stirrups November

Seattle, WA -- This morning No Stirrups November claimed yet another victim.  Convinced by the Internet that it was a good idea to ride without stirrups on a blustery November morning, Melody Parker added a broken collarbone to her already sore leg muscles.  Next year Parker plans to spend all of November in the southern hemisphere to avoid the Internet's "Let's All Fall Off More In The Fall" campaign.

Area Horse Alarmed To See His Name On The List For The Next Furrier Appointment

Area Horse Alarmed To See His Name On The List For The Next Furrier Appointment

For Sale: Big Bay Gelding, Tons of Potential

Big bay gelding for sale.  16.1 hands, 23 years old.  Tons of potential to eat hay and roll around in the mud.  Currently in training for competitive pasture ornament shows.  Price will decrease with training.